ADVICE FROM BIGFOOT
Be yourself.
Make a big impression.
Embrace mystery.
Spend time in the woods.
It’s ok to show up unexpectedly.
Be gentle on the earth.
Live a legendary life.
What you call him depends on where you spot him. …
BIGFOOT (United States) / GRASSMAN (Ohio) / SASQUATCH (Pacific Northwest) / SKUNK APE (Southern U.S.) … ALMAS (Mongolia) … MAPINGAURI (South America) … ORANG PENDEK (Sumatra) … WENDIGO (Canada) … YEREN (China) … YETI / ABOMINABLE
SNOWMAN (Himalayas) … YOWIE (Australia)
BIGFOOT RIDDLES
Did I tell you I am putting together an expedition to capture the legendary Sasquatch?
Did you hear the joke about the fierce Yeti?
Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop?
Do you know the real reason Bigfoot is so good at hiding?
5. Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
How did the Yeti feel when he had flu?
How do Yetis stay regular?
How does Bigfoot tell time?
10. How does Sasquatch travel so far in one day?
How does a Yeti get to work?
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just…
Sometimes Bigfoot is confused with Sasquatch …
The Abominable Snowman is sad because everyone runs from
him when he tries to make friends….
15. What did one Abominable Snowman say to the other?
What did the survivor say when he realized the monster was no longer after him?
What do Abominable Snowmen call their offspring?
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
What do Yetis drink on top of Everest?
20. What do you call Bigfoot when he has an attitude?
What do you call a Sasquatch who loves working with clay?
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
What do you call a Yeti in a phone box?
What do you get if you cross a Yeti with a kangaroo?
25. What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Abominable Snowman?
What do you get if you cross the Abominable Snowman with Dracula?
What do you get when Bigfoot stomps on your garden?
What do you give a seasick Yeti?
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
30. What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
What does a Yeti eat for dinner?
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
What is Bigfoot’s favorite exercise?
What is a Yeti’s favorite vegetable?
35. What is a baby Sasquatch’s favorite toy?
What is the plural of Sasquatch?
What steps should you take if you see a dangerous Yeti on your travels?
What would have Bigfoot been called by Native Americans if he had a big nose instead of big feet?
What’s Bigfoot’s favorite food?
40. Where are Yetis found?
Where do Abominable Snowmen go to dance?
Where does the Eastern Sasquatch go on vacation?
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Who doesn’t like to sit in front of the fire?
45. Why did the Abominable Snowman send his father to Siberia?
Why did the grizzly bear marathon runner quit the race with Bigfoot?
Why does the Sasquatch like to hear Bigfoot jokes?
Why doesn’t Bigfoot ever write love poetry?
Why doesn’t Sasquatch celebrate Christmas?
50. Why hasn’t Bigfoot ever gone to prison?
Why shouldn’t you dance with a Yeti?
Why was the Abominable Snowman’s dog called Frost?
ANSWERS
A Sasq-watcher
A fur coat with big pockets
A hairy potter
A jumbo yeti
Abominable
Because Frost bites
Because he wanted frozen pop
Bigmeter
By icicle
Chill-dren
Frostbite
He became a Night Squatchman
He couldn’t face da feet
He doesn’t want to myth out on the punch line
He goes bird squatching
He has only been convicted of mythdemeanors.
He is mist
He looks at his wrist-squatch
He owes Chuck Norris money
He takes big footsteps
He’s called the spag-yeti
High Tea
His Yeti Bear
I’m afraid I just don’t believe in people
Ice-burgers
If it trod on you, you might get flat feet
If we’re successful, it’ll be no feat
It’ll make you roar
Lake Eerie
No, he’s undercover
Not Yeti
Nothing rhymes with Sasquatch
Plenty of room
Sasquash
Sasquats
Sass-squatch
Schnozzsquatch
Squash
Stuck
Susquatch
The Abominable Snowman
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot
They always know wendigo
They are so rare, even Google doesn’t know
They don’t like to give away their presence
They’re so big they’re hardly ever lost
To snowballs
Very large ones
Wendigo
Winter squatch
Yeti never complains
Yeti still tries Yum, Hot Pockets
ANSWERS
sǝʇᴉq ʇsoɹꓞ ǝsnɐɔǝꓭ ¿ʇsoɹꓞ pǝๅๅɐɔ ɓop sˌuɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝɥʇ sɐʍ ʎɥM
ʇǝǝɟ ʇɐๅɟ ʇǝɓ ʇɥɓᴉɯ noʎ ʻnoʎ uo poɹʇ ʇᴉ ɟI ¿ᴉʇǝʎ ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝɔuɐp noʎ ʇˌupๅnoɥs ʎɥM
sɹouɐǝɯǝpɥʇʎɯ ɟo pǝʇɔᴉʌuoɔ uǝǝq ʎๅuo sɐɥ ǝH ¿uosᴉɹd oʇ ǝuoɓ ɹǝʌǝ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ʇˌusɐɥ ʎɥM
ǝɔuǝsǝɹd ɹᴉǝɥʇ ʎɐʍɐ ǝʌᴉɓ oʇ ǝʞᴉๅ ʇˌuop ʎǝɥꓕ ¿sɐɯʇsᴉɹɥꓛ ǝʇɐɹqǝๅǝɔ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ʇ’usǝop ʎɥM
ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ɥʇᴉʍ sǝɯʎɥɹ ɓuᴉɥʇoN ¿ʎɹʇǝod ǝʌoๅ ǝʇᴉɹʍ ɹǝʌǝ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ʇˌusǝop ʎɥM
ǝuᴉๅ ɥɔund ǝɥʇ uo ʇno ɥʇʎɯ oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʇˌusǝop ǝH ¿sǝʞoſ ʇooɟɓᴉq ɹɐǝɥ oʇ ǝʞᴉๅ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐs ǝɥʇ sǝop ʎɥM
ʇǝǝɟ ɐp ǝɔɐɟ ʇˌupๅnoɔ ǝH ¿ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝɔɐɹ ǝɥʇ ʇᴉnb ɹǝuunɹ uoɥʇɐɹɐɯ ɹɐǝq ʎๅzzᴉɹɓ ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʎɥM
dod uǝzoɹɟ pǝʇuɐʍ ǝɥ ǝsnɐɔǝꓭ ¿ɐᴉɹǝqᴉS oʇ ɹǝɥʇɐɟ sᴉɥ puǝs uɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʎɥM
uɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝɥꓕ ¿ǝɹᴉɟ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇuoɹɟ uᴉ ʇᴉs oʇ ǝʞᴉๅ ʇˌusǝop oɥM
ɹǝɥɔʇɐʍ-bsɐS Ɐ ¿sʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ɓunoʎ sʇᴉsʎqɐq oɥM
ǝᴉɹǝƎ ǝʞɐꓶ ¿uoᴉʇɐɔɐʌ uo oɓ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS uɹǝʇsɐƎ ǝɥʇ sǝop ǝɹǝɥM
sๅๅɐqʍous oꓕ ¿ǝɔuɐp oʇ oɓ uǝɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ op ǝɹǝɥM
ʇsoๅ ɹǝʌǝ ʎๅpɹɐɥ ǝɹˌʎǝɥʇ ɓᴉq os ǝɹˌʎǝɥꓕ ¿punoɟ sᴉʇǝʎ ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥM
ɥsɐnbsɐS ¿pooɟ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sˌʇooɟɓᴉq sˌʇɐɥM
ɥɔʇɐnbszzouɥɔS ¿ʇǝǝɟ ɓᴉq ɟo pɐǝʇsuᴉ ǝsou ɓᴉq ɐ pɐɥ ǝɥ ɟᴉ suɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ǝʌᴉʇɐN ʎq pǝๅๅɐɔ uǝǝq ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ǝʌɐɥ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM
sǝuo ǝɓɹɐๅ ʎɹǝꓥ ¿sๅǝʌɐɹʇ ɹnoʎ uo ᴉʇǝʎ snoɹǝɓuɐp ɐ ǝǝs noʎ ɟᴉ ǝʞɐʇ noʎ pๅnoɥs sdǝʇs ʇɐɥM
ʍouʞ ʇˌusǝop ǝๅɓooꓨ uǝʌǝ ʻǝɹɐɹ os ǝɹɐ ʎǝɥꓕ ¿ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ɟo ๅɐɹnๅd ǝɥʇ sᴉ ʇɐɥM
ɹɐǝꓭ ᴉʇǝ⅄ sᴉH ¿ʎoʇ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sˌɥɔʇɐnbsɐs ʎqɐq ɐ sᴉ ʇɐɥM
ɥsʇɐnbs ɹǝʇuᴉM ¿ǝๅqɐʇǝɓǝʌ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sˌᴉʇǝ⅄ ɐ sᴉ ʇɐɥM
sʇɐnbsɐS ¿ǝsᴉɔɹǝxǝ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sʇooɟɓᴉꓭ sᴉ ʇɐɥM
ʇsᴉɯ sᴉ ǝH ¿ɓoɟ ǝɥʇ uᴉ ʇsoๅ sʇǝɓ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ uǝɥʍ suǝddɐɥ ʇɐɥM
sɹǝɓɹnq-ǝɔI ¿ɹǝuuᴉp ɹoɟ ʇɐǝ ᴉʇǝʎ ɐ sǝop ʇɐɥM
sʇǝʞɔoꓒ ʇoH ʻɯn⅄ ¿sɓɐq ɓuᴉdǝǝๅs uᴉ sɹǝdɯɐɔ sǝǝs ǝɥ uǝɥʍ ʎɐs ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ sǝop ʇɐɥM
ɓuᴉɥɔʇɐnbs pɹᴉq sǝoɓ ǝH ¿ǝɯᴉʇ ǝɹɐds sᴉɥ uᴉ xɐๅǝɹ oʇ op ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ sǝop ʇɐɥM
ɯooɹ ɟo ʎʇuǝๅꓒ ¿ᴉʇǝʎ ʞɔᴉsɐǝs ɐ ǝʌᴉɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɥsɐnbS ¿uǝpɹɐɓ ɹnoʎ uo sdɯoʇs ʇooɟɓᴉq uǝɥʍ ʇǝɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ǝʇᴉqʇsoɹꓞ ¿ɐๅnɔɐɹꓷ ɥʇᴉʍ uɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝɥʇ ssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ᴉʇǝʎ oqɯnſ Ɐ ¿uɐɯʍous ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqɐ ǝɥʇ ɥʇᴉʍ ʇuɐɥdǝๅǝ uɐ ssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
sʇǝʞɔod ɓᴉq ɥʇᴉʍ ʇɐoɔ ɹnɟ Ɐ ¿ooɹɐɓuɐʞ ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ᴉʇǝʎ ɐ ssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ʞɔnʇS ¿xoq ǝuoɥd ɐ uᴉ ᴉʇǝʎ ɐ ๅๅɐɔ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɥɔʇɐnbsnS ¿ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ɓuᴉʞooๅ ʎɥɔʇǝʞs ɐ ๅๅɐɔ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɹǝʇʇod ʎɹᴉɐɥ Ɐ ¿ʎɐๅɔ ɥʇᴉʍ ɓuᴉʞɹoʍ sǝʌoๅ oɥʍ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ɐ ๅๅɐɔ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɥɔʇɐnbs-ssɐS ¿ǝpnʇᴉʇʇɐ uɐ sɐɥ ǝɥ uǝɥʍ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ๅๅɐɔ noʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɐǝꓕ ɥɓᴉH ¿ʇsǝɹǝʌƎ ɟo doʇ uo ʞuᴉɹp sᴉʇǝʎ op ʇɐɥM
ɹǝʇǝɯɓᴉꓭ ¿ǝdoɹnƎ uᴉ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ๅๅɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ op ʇɐɥM
uǝɹp-ๅๅᴉɥꓛ ¿ɓuᴉɹdsɟɟo ɹᴉǝɥʇ ๅๅɐɔ uǝɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ op ʇɐɥM
oɓᴉpuǝM ¿ɯᴉɥ ɹǝʇɟɐ ɹǝɓuoๅ ou sɐʍ ɹǝʇsuoɯ ǝɥʇ pǝzᴉๅɐǝɹ ǝɥ uǝɥʍ ʎɐs ɹoʌᴉʌɹns ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʇɐɥM
ǝๅdoǝd uᴉ ǝʌǝᴉๅǝq ʇˌuop ʇsnſ I pᴉɐɹɟɐ ɯˌI ¿ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ oʇ ʎɐs uɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝuo pᴉp ʇɐɥM
uɐɯɥɔʇɐnbS ʇɥɓᴉN ɐ ǝɯɐɔǝq ǝH ¿ʇuǝɯʇɹɐdǝꓷ ǝɔᴉๅoꓒ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ pǝɹᴉʇǝɹ ǝɥ ɹǝʇɟɐ op ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ pᴉp ʇɐɥM
sǝᴉɹʇ ๅๅᴉʇs ᴉʇǝ⅄ ····spuǝᴉɹɟ ǝʞɐɯ oʇ sǝᴉɹʇ ǝɥ uǝɥʍ ɯᴉɥ ɯoɹɟ sunɹ ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ǝsnɐɔǝq pɐs sᴉ uɐɯʍouS ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ǝɥꓕ
suᴉɐๅdɯoɔ ɹǝʌǝu IꓕƎ⅄ … HꓛꓕⱯꓵῸSⱯS ɥʇᴉʍ pǝsnɟuoɔ sᴉ ꓕOOꓞꓨIꓭ sǝɯᴉʇǝɯoS
ᴉʇǝ⅄ ʇoN ···ʇsnſ ʻɥɔʇɐnbsɐS puᴉɟ ๅๅᴉʍ ǝʍ ʎɐp ǝuo ʇɐɥʇ ǝʌǝᴉๅǝq sʇsᴉʇuǝᴉɔS
ǝๅɔᴉɔᴉ ʎꓭ ¿ʞɹoʍ oʇ ʇǝɓ ᴉʇǝʎ ɐ sǝop ʍoH
sdǝʇsʇooɟ ɓᴉq sǝʞɐʇ ǝH ¿ʎɐp ǝuo uᴉ ɹɐɟ os ๅǝʌɐɹʇ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS sǝop ʍoH
ɥɔʇɐnbs-ʇsᴉɹʍ sᴉɥ ʇɐ sʞooๅ ǝH ¿ǝɯᴉʇ ๅๅǝʇ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ sǝop ʍoH
oɓᴉpuǝʍ ʍouʞ sʎɐʍๅɐ ʎǝɥꓕ ¿ɹɐๅnɓǝɹ ʎɐʇs sᴉʇǝʎ op ʍoH
ǝๅqɐuᴉɯoqⱯ ¿nๅɟ pɐɥ ǝɥ uǝɥʍ ๅǝǝɟ ᴉʇǝʎ ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʍoH
ʇooɟ ɓᴉq ɐ ʎq ʻuoʍ ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ǝɥꓕ ¿ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ǝɥʇ puɐ ᴉʇǝ⅄ ǝɥʇ uǝǝʍʇǝq ǝɔɐɹ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ɹɐǝH
ᴉʇǝʎ-ɓɐds ǝɥʇ pǝๅๅɐɔ s’ǝH ¿ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ uɐᴉๅɐʇI ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ pɹɐǝɥ noʎ ǝʌɐH
ʎǝuoɯ sᴉɹɹoN ʞɔnɥꓛ sǝʍo ǝH ¿ɓuᴉpᴉɥ ʇɐ pooɓ os sᴉ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ uosɐǝɹ ๅɐǝɹ ǝɥʇ ʍouʞ noʎ oꓷ
ɹǝʌoɔɹǝpun sˌǝɥ ʻoN ¿ doɔ ɐ sɐ sʞɹoʍ ʇooɟɓᴉꓭ ʍouʞ noʎ pᴉꓷ
ɹɐoɹ noʎ ǝʞɐɯ ๅๅˌʇI ¿ᴉʇǝʎ ǝɔɹǝᴉɟ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ǝʞoſ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥ noʎ pᴉꓷ
ʇɐǝɟ ou ǝq ๅๅˌʇᴉ ʻๅnɟssǝɔɔns ǝɹˌǝʍ ɟI ¿ɥɔʇɐnbsɐS ʎɹɐpuǝɓǝๅ ǝɥʇ ǝɹnʇdɐɔ oʇ uoᴉʇᴉpǝdxǝ uɐ ɹǝɥʇǝɓoʇ ɓuᴉʇʇnd ɯɐ I noʎ ๅๅǝʇ I pᴉꓷ