What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
What would you get if you crossed a duck with a flame on the Fourth of July?
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?
What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?

RIDDLES
Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you from the fact that England …
Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Do they have a 4th of July in Australia?
5. Happy fourh of July! Looking for the T?
How is a healthy person like the United States?
How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July. But not fire.
Teacher: “Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?”‘ Student: …
10. The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?
What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?
What dance was very popular in 1776?
What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
What did King George think of the American colonists?
15. What did one flag say to the other flag?
What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
What do you get if you cross the first signer of the Declaration of Independence with a rooster?
What ghost haunted King George III?
20. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
What kind of tea did the American colonist’s thirst for?
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
25. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?
What would you say if everyone in the country sneezed at the same time?
30. What’s red, white, blue and green?
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
35. Which colonists told the most jokes?
Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?
Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
Who is a dogs favorite Founding Father?
Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
40. Why can’t a woman living in the U.S. be buried in Canada?
Why did the duck say “Bang?
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Why were the early American settlers like ants?

ANSWERS
Americans licked the British
An eye doctor 
At the bottom
At the chopping mall
Bald beagle
Battle of Bonkers Hill
Beneduck Arnold
Blew a 13 colony lead
Bone Franklin
Boston Flea Party
Ducklaration of Independence
False! It was written in ink
Fire quacker
Fire works
Freedom rings
God bless America!
He was a firequacker 
He was a Yankee doodler
He thought they were revolting 
Indepen-dance
Infantry
It’s in Boston Harbor
John Hancock-a-doodle-doo
Keep in torch
Liberty
Laughayette
Monti-jello
Mt. Vermin
My pop’s bigger than your pop
Nothing. It just waved 
One has a bill on their face and the other has their face on a bill
Paw Revere 
Powdered wigwam
Punsylvanians 
Revo-lotion
Seasick Uncle Sam
She’s still alive
Tarzan Stripes Forever
The Fodder of Our Country 
The hot dogs were bad and the brats were wurst
The spirit of ’76
They both have good constitutions
They lived in colonies 
They’re both cracked
Thomas Jeffer’s son
Yeah, it cracked me up 
Yankee Poodle
Yep. It’s right after the 3rd and before the 5th.

 

ANSWERS

sǝᴉuoๅoɔ uᴉ pǝʌᴉๅ ʎǝɥꓕ  ¿sʇuɐ ǝʞᴉๅ sɹǝๅʇʇǝs uɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ʎๅɹɐǝ ǝɥʇ ǝɹǝʍ ʎɥM

pǝʞɔɐɹɔ ɥʇoq ǝɹˌʎǝɥꓕ  ¿ɓɓǝ ɹǝʇsɐƎ pǝddoɹp ɐ ǝʞᴉๅ ๅๅǝꓭ ʎʇɹǝqᴉꓶ ǝɥʇ sᴉ ʎɥM

   ɹǝʞɔɐnbǝɹᴉɟ ɐ sɐʍ ǝH  ¿ɓuɐꓭˌˌ ʎɐs ʞɔnp ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʎɥM

ǝʌᴉๅɐ ๅๅᴉʇs s’ǝɥS  ¿ɐpɐuɐꓛ uᴉ pǝᴉɹnq ǝq ·S·ꓵ ǝɥʇ uᴉ ɓuᴉʌᴉๅ uɐɯoʍ ɐ ʇ’uɐɔ ʎɥM

sɓuᴉɹ ɯopǝǝɹꓞ  ¿ɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ʇnoqɐ sǝʞoſ ʞɔouʞ ʞɔouʞ ou ǝɹǝɥʇ ǝɹɐ ʎɥM

uᴉๅʞuɐɹꓞ ǝuoꓭ  ¿ɹǝɥʇɐꓞ ɓuᴉpunoꓞ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sɓop ɐ sᴉ oɥM

uos sˌɹǝɟɟǝſ sɐɯoɥꓕ  ˌˌ¿ǝɔuǝpuǝdǝpuI ɟo uoᴉʇɐɹɐๅɔǝꓷ ǝɥʇ ǝʇoɹʍ ɐᴉuᴉɓɹᴉꓥ pๅo ɟo uos ɥɔᴉɥM

ǝʇʇǝʎɐɥɓnɐꓶ  ¿ɹoɯnɥ ɟo ǝsuǝs ʇsǝq ǝɥʇ pɐɥ sɹǝɔᴉɟɟo sˌuoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM ɟo ǝuo ɥɔᴉɥM

suɐᴉuɐʌๅʎsunꓒ  ¿sǝʞoſ ʇsoɯ ǝɥʇ pๅoʇ sʇsᴉuoๅoɔ ɥɔᴉɥM

ɯoʇʇoq ǝɥʇ ʇⱯ  ¿pǝuɓᴉs ǝɔuǝpuǝdǝpuI ɟo uoᴉʇɐɹɐๅɔǝꓷ ǝɥʇ sɐʍ ǝɹǝɥM

dod ɹnoʎ uɐɥʇ ɹǝɓɓᴉq s’dod ʎW  ¿ɹǝʞɔɐɹɔǝɹᴉɟ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ oʇ ʎɐs ɹǝʞɔɐɹɔǝɹᴉɟ ǝuo pᴉp ʇɐɥM

 ๅๅɐɯ ɓuᴉddoɥɔ ǝɥʇ ʇⱯ  ¿ʇǝɥɔʇɐɥ sᴉɥ ʎnq uoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM ǝɓɹoǝꓨ pᴉp ǝɹǝɥM

ๅๅᴉq ɐ uo ǝɔɐɟ ɹᴉǝɥʇ sɐɥ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ puɐ ǝɔɐɟ ɹᴉǝɥʇ uo ๅๅᴉq ɐ sɐɥ ǝuO  ¿uoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM ǝɓɹoǝꓨ puɐ ʞɔnp ɐ uǝǝʍʇǝq ǝɔuǝɹǝɟɟᴉp ǝɥʇ s’ʇɐɥM

 ɯɐS ǝๅɔuꓵ ʞɔᴉsɐǝS  ¿uǝǝɹɓ puɐ ǝnๅq ʻǝʇᴉɥʍ ʻpǝɹ sˌʇɐɥM

¡ɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ssǝๅq poꓨ  ¿ǝɯᴉʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ pǝzǝǝus ʎɹʇunoɔ ǝɥʇ uᴉ ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ɟᴉ ʎɐs noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

oๅๅǝſ-ᴉʇuoW  ¿ʇɹǝssǝp ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ s’uosɹǝɟɟǝſ sɐɯoɥꓕ sɐʍ ʇɐɥM

ๅๅᴉH sɹǝʞuoꓭ ɟo ǝๅʇʇɐꓭ  ¿ɹɐM ʎɹɐuoᴉʇnๅoʌǝꓤ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝๅʇʇɐq ʇsǝᴉzɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ sɐʍ ʇɐɥM

ʎɹʇuɐɟuI  ¿ǝǝɹʇ ǝʇᴉɹoʌɐɟ sˌuoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM ๅɐɹǝuǝꓨ sɐʍ ʇɐɥM

pๅouɹⱯ ʞɔnpǝuǝꓭ  ¿ʎɹʇunoɔ sᴉɥ sʎɐɹʇǝq puɐ ʻʇǝǝɟ pǝqqǝʍ sɐɥ ʻsʞɔɐnb ʇɐɥM

 ʎʇɹɐꓒ ɐǝๅꓞ uoʇsoꓭ  ¿ƐLLƖ uᴉ pǝɹɹnɔɔo sɓop ɟo dnoɹɓ ɐ ʎq ʇsǝʇoɹd ʇɐɥM

ɹǝʌǝɹoꓞ sǝdᴉɹʇS uɐzɹɐꓕ  ¿ǝpɐɹɐd ǝๅɓunſ ɐ ʇɐ ʎɐๅd noʎ pๅnoʍ ɥɔɹɐɯ ʇɐɥM

ʎʇɹǝqᴉꓶ  ¿ɹoɟ ʇsɹᴉɥʇ s’ʇsᴉuoๅoɔ uɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ǝɥʇ pᴉp ɐǝʇ ɟo puᴉʞ ʇɐɥM

ǝɔuǝpuǝdǝpuI ɟo uoᴉʇɐɹɐๅʞɔnꓷ  ¿sʇɥɓᴉɹ ǝๅqɐuǝᴉๅɐuᴉ uᴉɐʇɹǝɔ puɐ ʻʇǝǝɟ pǝqqǝʍ ʻsɹǝɥʇɐǝɟ sɐɥ ʇɐɥM

ɥsᴉʇᴉɹꓭ ǝɥʇ pǝʞɔᴉๅ suɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ  ¿ʇɔⱯ dɯɐʇS ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇๅnsǝɹ ɐ sɐ pǝuǝddɐɥ ʇɐɥM

9Lˌ ɟo ʇᴉɹᴉds ǝɥꓕ  ¿III ǝɓɹoǝꓨ ɓuᴉꓘ pǝʇunɐɥ ʇsoɥɓ ʇɐɥM

oop-ǝๅpoop-ɐ-ʞɔoɔuɐH uɥoſ  ¿ɹǝʇsooɹ ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝɔuǝpuǝdǝpuI ɟo uoᴉʇɐɹɐๅɔǝꓷ ǝɥʇ ɟo ɹǝuɓᴉs ʇsɹᴉɟ ǝɥʇ ssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ op ʇɐɥM

ɥɔɹoʇ uᴉ dǝǝꓘ  ¿ʎʇɹǝqᴉꓶ ɟo ǝnʇɐʇS ǝɥʇ ʇɟǝๅ ǝɥ sɐ ʎɐs ɹoʇᴉsᴉʌ ǝɥʇ pᴉp ʇɐɥM

 pǝʌɐʍ ʇsnſ ʇI ·ɓuᴉɥʇoN  ¿ɓɐๅɟ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ oʇ ʎɐs ɓɐๅɟ ǝuo pᴉp ʇɐɥM

  ɓuᴉʇๅoʌǝɹ ǝɹǝʍ ʎǝɥʇ ʇɥɓnoɥʇ ǝH  ¿sʇsᴉuoๅoɔ uɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʞuᴉɥʇ ǝɓɹoǝꓨ ɓuᴉꓘ pᴉp ʇɐɥM

uoᴉʇoๅ-oʌǝꓤ  ¿uᴉʞs ʎɹp sᴉɥ uo ʇnd ʇoᴉɹʇɐd ɐ pᴉp ʇɐɥM

ǝɔuɐp-uǝdǝpuI  ¿9LLƖ uᴉ ɹɐๅndod ʎɹǝʌ sɐʍ ǝɔuɐp ʇɐɥM

  ǝɹǝʌǝꓤ ʍɐꓒ  ¿ˌˌ¡ɓuᴉɯoɔ ǝɹɐ ɥsᴉʇᴉɹꓭ ǝɥꓕ ¡ɓuᴉɯoɔ ǝɹɐ ɥsᴉʇᴉɹꓭ ǝɥꓕˌˌ ʻpᴉɐs ʇɐɔ ʇɐɥM

ʞuᴉ uᴉ uǝʇʇᴉɹʍ sɐʍ ʇI ¡ǝsๅɐꓞ  ¿ǝsๅɐɟ ɹo ǝnɹꓕ ·ɐᴉɥdๅǝpɐๅᴉɥꓒ uᴉ uǝʇʇᴉɹʍ sɐʍ ǝɔuǝpuǝdǝpuI ɟo uoᴉʇɐɹɐๅɔǝꓷ ǝɥꓕ

  ɹoʇɔop ǝʎǝ uⱯ  … :ʇuǝpnʇS ˌˌˌ¿ǝǝs noʎ uɐɔ ʻʎɐs ɥO` ǝʇoɹʍ oɥMˌˌ :ɹǝɥɔɐǝꓕ

sʞɹoʍ ǝɹᴉꓞ  ·ǝɹᴉɟ ʇou ʇnꓭ ·ʎๅnſ ɟo ɥʇh ǝɥʇ uo ɟɟo ʎɐp ɐ ʎoſuǝ ǝๅdoǝd ǝɯoS

ʇsɹnʍ ǝɹǝʍ sʇɐɹq ǝɥʇ puɐ pɐq ǝɹǝʍ sɓop ʇoɥ ǝɥꓕ  ¿ɔᴉuɔᴉd ʎๅnſ ɟo ɥʇɹnoꓞ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ pooɟ ǝɥʇ sɐʍ ʍoH

suoᴉʇnʇᴉʇsuoɔ pooɓ ǝʌɐɥ ɥʇoq ʎǝɥꓕ  ¿sǝʇɐʇS pǝʇᴉuꓵ ǝɥʇ ǝʞᴉๅ uosɹǝd ʎɥʇๅɐǝɥ ɐ sᴉ ʍoH

ɹoqɹɐH uoʇsoꓭ uᴉ s’ʇI  ¿ꓕ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ɓuᴉʞooꓶ ¡ʎๅnſ ɟo ɥɹnoɟ ʎddɐH

·ɥʇ૬ ǝɥʇ ǝɹoɟǝq puɐ pɹƐ ǝɥʇ ɹǝʇɟɐ ʇɥɓᴉɹ s’ʇI ·dǝ⅄  ¿ɐᴉๅɐɹʇsnⱯ uᴉ ʎๅnſ ɟo ɥʇh ɐ ǝʌɐɥ ʎǝɥʇ oꓷ

  dn ǝɯ pǝʞɔɐɹɔ ʇᴉ ʻɥɐǝ⅄  ¿ๅๅǝꓭ ʎʇɹǝqᴉꓶ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ǝuo ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥ noʎ pᴉꓷ

ɹǝๅpoop ǝǝʞuɐ⅄ ɐ sɐʍ ǝH  ¿ʎɯɹⱯ ๅɐʇuǝuᴉʇuoꓛ ǝɥʇ uᴉ ʇsᴉuooʇɹɐɔ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ɹɐǝɥ noʎ pᴉꓷ

pɐǝๅ ʎuoๅoɔ ƐƖ ɐ ʍǝๅꓭ  … puɐๅɓuƎ ʇɐɥʇ ʇɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ noʎ ʇɔɐɹʇsᴉp ɥʇh ʎๅnſ sᴉ ʎɐpoʇ ʇɐɥʇ ʇɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ ʇǝๅ ʇou oꓷ

ǝๅɓɐǝq pๅɐꓭ  ¿ʎdoouS ɥʇᴉʍ pɹᴉq ๅɐuoᴉʇɐu uɐɔᴉɹǝɯⱯ ǝɥʇ pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

uᴉɯɹǝꓥ ·ʇW  ¿sʇɔǝsuᴉ ʎʇsɐu ɥʇᴉʍ ǝɯoɥ sˌuoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

  ʎɹʇunoꓛ ɹnO ɟo ɹǝppoꓞ ǝɥꓕ  ¿pǝǝɟ ǝๅʇʇɐɔ ɥʇᴉʍ uoʇɓuᴉɥsɐM ǝɓɹoǝꓨ pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

ǝๅpooꓒ ǝǝʞuɐ⅄  ¿ɓop pǝɹᴉɐɥ-ʎๅɹnɔ ๅๅɐɯs ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ʇoᴉɹʇɐd ɐ pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

ɹǝʞɔɐnb ǝɹᴉꓞ  ¿ʎๅnſ ɟo ɥʇɹnoꓞ ǝɥʇ uo ǝɯɐๅɟ ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ʞɔnp ɐ pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM

ɯɐʍɓᴉʍ pǝɹǝpʍoꓒ  ¿ǝǝdǝǝʇ ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝɔǝᴉdɹᴉɐɥ ๅɐᴉuoๅoɔ ɐ pǝssoɹɔ noʎ ɟᴉ ʇǝɓ noʎ pๅnoʍ ʇɐɥM