Gratitude

I find it a rare occasion that someone gives you a special Thank You when you expend a lot of time and resources to make a difference in their life. So, I was delightfully surprised when this bouquet of flowers arrived unexpectedly. Thank you Brenda for the surprise, and especially for showing gratitude.

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I purchased the Subaru in 2019. It is shown on my Miracle Story post.
Went to Toyota (closer than driving to Warren) to ask a question and ended up trading in my Subaru in top condition with low mileage.
Brenda, the Subaru is NOT yours until you pay back the loan.

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What YOU did today?
I loaned you the money to purchase the car -and- I was there helping you.
Unfortunately the title was put solely in your name because I trusted you.
BIG MISTAKE.
Your Facebook post is what prompted adding the full story to the original Gratitude post.

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Now for the full story … HOME HEALTH CARE
Explanation for Loan -and- Explanation for Seeking Payment
Kindness but lack of Wisdom bit me BIG time.
What I learned the hard way is that anyone can call themselves a Home Health Aide. … ASK FOR A LICENSE!

My trust and spirit are shattered -and-
I feel emotionally and financially swindled!
You NEVER addressed how your actions affected me.
Autoimmune Journey
Your actions have severely impacted my health, with stress triggering a double autoimmune diagnosis.

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I was sick and in dire need of assistance. But alas, there was no one available at the time to help. It was then I decided to hire a Home Health Aide.

During the interview, I specifically asked if you would be available when I was sick. You answered in the affirmative. I offered you three hours per week to be fair to you, even though we basically chatted during that time. I did this so there would be someone to call when sick.

One day while chatting, you mentioned your dream was to have a good vehicle. I had just traded in my Subaru in top condition with low mileage. I had saved some money and put it aside for Home Health Care. Believing I had found someone trustworthy that I could count on for my remaining years, I offered to lend you my entire Home Health Care Savings (interest free) so you could buy your dream car. This was based on your word that you would be available when sick and pay $400 per month until loan was paid.

For scheduled help, we agreed on Tuesday afternoon. In November (after receiving the loan), I was sick for several days, but waited until Tuesday when I knew you would be here to help with a few tasks. Alas, you informed me you were not available in case I was contagious. Don’t believe that was the case, because I got sick shortly after eating something. However, what about using mask and gloves? Earlier that month, I made an appointment on the scheduled Tuesday that needed your help. Again, you were unavailable. Finally, made an appointment weeks in advance that needed your help. Yet again, you were unavailable. After receiving the load, I asked for help 3 times – 3x I was denied your help. I loaned you my entire Home Health Savings believing I had someone whom I could trust to pay the loan as agreed ($400/month interest free per verbal contract 11/13/2024) -and- help as needed. Just wish the above had happened before I gave you the loan.

In November we agreed (with your significant other as witness) that you would pay $400 per month until paid. This interest free loan would be paid within 4 years. This was acceptable at the time, since it was a combination of payments and work hours.

You are only paying $200 each month. Really Brenda … that would be 8+ years! Since you are unavailable when sick, there are no significant work hours. Thus, the timeline for repayment is unacceptable. I am in my late 70s on a fixed income. I need you to repay that loan asap so it is available to hire someone who is available when needed. You have more than enough to cover this loan even with taxes and penalty. You have used these resources before, so hoping you will do the honorable thing and pay off the loan.

When we met, I freely gave you both my trust and friendship. You have broken your word multiple times. Consequently, both now have to be earned, beginning with returning my Home Health Care savings.

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“If a home health aide borrows money from a senior in Pennsylvania and does not pay it back, this could be considered financial exploitation under the Pennsylvania Older Adults Protective Services Act, which is a serious legal offense with potential consequences including criminal charges and civil lawsuits against the aide.”

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My reply … We agreed on $400. Do you think it is fair to only pay $200, save thousands in interest, cost me hundreds in interest (not in Northwest), and wait 8+ years to get my Home Health Savings back? (I am nearly 80 years old.) And then you are upset that you had to wait a few minutes!…

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After multiple exchanges, I am convinced this person does not know the meaning of honesty when it comes to personal responsibility. One example after much whining in response to the above reply …
Me … Your actions have shattered both my trust and my spirit. Why don’t you just do the honorable thing and use some of the money you have to pay back the loan?
Brenda … What money?
Me … The money you told me you have and used part of it before. The taxes and penalty are less than the interest you would be paying a bank. Alternatively, use the car as collateral with Rob or a friend to cosign a bank loan.
Brenda … I’m done here don’t text me anymore.

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FINAL THOUGHTS … Kindness and lack of wisdom bit me BIG time.
Unfortunately the person I hired as Home Health Aide when needed and took into my heart as friend, turned out to be dishonest. She has to be right by changing what she says, and sends verbal barbs to me whenever I ask her to be accountable. Really Brenda! It is not enough that you swindled me emotionally and financially, but you also have to continually add verbal assaults in your texts. She does have more than enough to do the honorable thing, but chooses to play the victim instead of paying back the loan. I NEVER agreed to $200 per month, or told her to pay what she could. Given my age (nearly 80) and timeline to recover my Home Health Savings to use as needed, does that even make sense?!

Hope lives eternal, and maybe, by some miracle, you will do the honorable thing and RETURN MY HOME HEALTH SAVINGS. Use the money you have in your retirement account. / Get a bank loan using the car as collateral with someone to cosign if needed. / Sell the car. What I find to be really sad about this situation, is we could have come to a mutually beneficial solution. Rather than unilaterally deciding you couldn’t afford the $400 / month, you could have talked with me. For example, pay what you could and withdraw the remainder of the $400 from your retirement account. I would have continued to have you as my Home Health Aide, with both client/provider and friendship solid relationships. Instead you lost both.

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I loaned you my entire Home Health Savings believing I had someone whom I could trust to pay the loan as agreed ($400/month interest free per verbal contract 11/13/2024) -and- help as needed. First time needed help, syou refused to come saying I might be contagious. Just wish this had happened before I gave you the loan.

The $25 was my opening deposit which you promised to repay me. Nope! Consequently, I withdrew it so deposits would all be loan payments. NEVER was the verbal contract to pay $400/month honored when the loan was accepted, with boyfriend as witness.

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STEPS TAKEN TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE and HOPEFULLY REMOVE THE STRESS
STEP ONE
After repeatedly asking Brenda to do the honorable thing, reported her actions to both the VNA and Office of Aging, where she was listed as a caregiver for this area.
RESULT – Her name was removed from both agencies.
STEP TWO
After paying less than $100 for two months, finally contacted a lawyer who called her.
RESULT – She paid $300 for three months.
STEP THREE
No payment for November. Action taken – Result pending
STEP FOUR
Ready depending on outcome from Step Three.